the locked door
by Kitsune Foxfire
Summary: Ed's locked himeself in the bathroom, and Al and Roy have a sneeky suspesion as to why....could they be right? Pg13 for suggestive diologe.


**Ok, this is obvious, but I don't own FMA, or anything cool like that. If I did I wouldn't be saving money to go buy it, right?**

**This is a cheesy one-shot that just popped into my head the other day, so enjoy!

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Al glanced at the clock again, 10:10. They were supposed to have been at Mustang's office at ten, and were already late. He knew his brother didn't like Roy, but this was ridiculous. "Brother? Are you still in the bathroom? What are you doing in there? You know…."

"Shut up, Al! I'm a little busy right now!" Called Ed from within the locked room, sounding a little distracted.

"Ok then….I'll just wait out here.." Sighed the armor as Al settled in to wait right outside, just in case his brother tried to sneak away. Not that he thought he would, but Ed

was acting weird.

**_A little later_**

_Knock Knock._

Al leaped up and called, "Oh…Coming!" as he headed for the door. "Hello? Oh, Hello Lt. Colonel Mustang…"

"Where's Full Metal? He was supposed to report to me an hour ago on how your search is going." Roy Mustang glared at Al, as if convinced that he was hiding his brother.

Slightly fritened of the look, Al backed up, "Oh, I know, but he's a little preoccupied…."

"Really? Where is the runt?"

Al points, "In there. He locked himself in the bathroom an hour ago and hasn't come out. Won't you come in?"

"What could he possibly be doing in the bathroom for that long…? Never mind, I think I know." Roy laughs, "Boys will be boys, right Al?"

"Huh?"

"Come-on, you know what I mean! He's, you know!" he crowed, making an obscene gesture.

"Brother! No he couldn't be!"

Mustang grinned, finally having caught the kid in a compromising situation, "Just put your head against the door and listen….I bet I'm right!"

He and Al both leaned in an listened hard. From the other side of the door, a long litany could be heard, periodically interrupted by grunting. "Come on….oh for crying out loud….almost….AHHH! Damnit! GRRR….Why you peace of….oh yeah….so close…Almonst got it…..yes, NO! AHHH FUCK! That didn't work….. OWWWW! Stupid automail…!"

"Brother, are you ok in there?"

"Uh, Just fine Al!"

"But you just screamed…"

"It's nothing!"

"See I told you," Roy snickered, "You need a magazine or something Ed?"

"What! The Colonel's here? But we weren't supposed to meet him till 10, and it's only… 10:30? CRAP! Why didn't you tell me Al?"

"I've been trying too…." Al muttered.

"Oh Damnit! Just great…Errrr….I'll be out in a minute."

"Hey now, no rush, kid. You just finish with what your doing, I'll still be here."

A surpised yelp came from the other side of the door, "Gee thanks, Lt. Colonel. Why so nice all of a sudden?"

"Well, I was young once too, you know, I know how it is…" Mustang leered.

"What are you talking about? That's it, Al, I give up. Can you give me a hand with this…." Ed sighed as he started to open the door.

Al panicked and started to back up while Roy looked disgusted, "wha? NO NO that's ok brother!" Al cried, waving his arms around.

"That's just sick, Ed"

"What on earth are you two going on about?" Ed asked befuddled as he stood in the doorway.

For a moment his brother and the Roy just stared at him. Seconds passed in compete silence before they both broke out laughing. "That's just classic!" gasped Mustang.

"I…Can't Believe…that…you…you're hair… HA!"

"Yeah yeah, you've had you're laugh, now can you guys give me a hand with this?" Ed gestured with his free hand. His Automail hand was fully entangled in his hair, which closely resembled a rat's nest. The hair was obviously stuck in the joints of the fingers and palm so well that his hand might as well have been glued to his scalp.

As all attemted to help his brother he had to ask, "How'd you manage to get stuck like this, brother?"

"I forgot to put my gloves on before I braided it, and my hair got caught and it all went downhill from there." He yelped as Al pulled on his hand, "Hey, OWW that hurts!"

"Um…I don't think this is working, Ed…." Al sighed, "I think we might have to cut it out…"

"Not my hair! Oh man, Winery's going to kill me…!"

"Here, let me help…." Roy snickered as he walked over to the brothers, still laughing spasmodically.

"NO! I don't want you near my hair!" Ed cried, a vision of him with his head on fire passing through his mind.

"Don't be such a baby and let me help. You sure did a job on this one…." Deftly the Colonel detangled the hair, "There! All done! And we didn't even have to cut any off, Full Metal."

"Wow, thanks a lot!" Ed whooped as he finished braiding his hair with his gloves on this time, "I thought I was going to be stuck like that forever, Al." he sighed.

"So THAT'S what you were doing in the bathroom, brother?"

"Yeah, of course it was, Al. What did you think I was doing?"

"Um…..nothing…" Al stammered, looking guiltily at Roy, who was looking anywhere but the two brothers.

"I don't believe you for a second, Al. Come on, out with it."

"Well, the Lt. Colonel said you where, well, you know…" muttered the younger brother, sounding embarrassed.

"No I don't know, what did you tell him……." Suddenly it dawned on the older Elric brother what Al was suggesting, "YOU SICK BASTARD! YOU THOUGHT I WAS! AND YOU TOLD AL? HOW COULD YOU!"

All quickly reached forward, grabbing Ed he called, "Now brother, calm down!"

"NO I won't be! Let me go AL!" Ed struggled, "I'll Kill you, Mustang!"

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Author's note:**

**So what do you think? Review please, flame or positive. Whatever. This popped into my head for the first time when Ed was washing up and ran his automail trough his hair. First I was stuck on if his automail would rust or something, but I like this one better. Hope you liked it….**


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